What's the positive in Negative Thinking???

It's not my intention to write a 'self-help' piece... there are plenty of available on the subject....

My attempt is to think the opposite of one of the most  popular theories of Norman Vincent Peale's "think positive" (a best seller "the power of positive thinking") . 

I am not the first one who has attempted to look at the other side of this popular principle...please refer Google..

The Positive thinking insists you to take a conscious effort to convince yourself that things will turn out positive..!!!!

I don't disagree with it. I heard the experience of many people that it worked for them...

But not always..It may not work where a damage has already been happened...

My attempt is based on the following facts:

1. life is uncertain; it creates insecurity;
2. by default, our mind think negatively. (Example: when you receive the call from Boss, ,  do you ever think that it is to complement for a good job?? ..rather, the thought goes like this. . "Oh God... What's the last mail gone to her from my system??? )
3. even we think positively, most of the time we absorb the reality of a bitter experience as it is..
4. we tend to avoid confrontations with unpleasant  thoughts;

A 'Worst Case Scenario' is the ability to spot a problem, a risk or downside..I believe, in many of the life situations, one should learn to look at the WCS..it gives more visibility...clarity on thoughts... 

We can think the 'WCS' only when we think negatively..

One pioneer of the "negative path" was the New York psychotherapist Albert Ellis, who died in 2007. In psychology, the people who follow the negative thinking process called as “defensive pessimists.”

what I understand that the Negative thinking is not what you perceive a failure before doing; but to consider certain facts and circumstances which may go wrong while taking decisions...

Muhammed Rafeeque 

What a Speed Sirjee...???

Last week, I attended a business conference.. 

Two whole days, the experts analysed the different methods and strategies to increase the speed of Internet. 3G, 4G, LTE.. BWA ...!!! they compared the internet speed in India with advanced countries...we lag behind...

While listening the discussions in a cozy conference hall, my mind was wandering around a thought.... 

Why are we so crazy about the speed....??

Look at the ads of cars, computers, cell phones even pizza... it all talks about the mileage per hour or the speed of delivery...

Yes...  Speed is the mantra of the day...!!!

Have you noticed? most of family suicides (technically it is homicide.) are due to to the stress of unpaid debts....getting in trap of unsolicited loans...!!

We want a luxurious life faster...!!!

We are running fast holding life in hand...

AND We forget "to live" in the process..!!!

Assignments at office need the 'TAT' (turn around time).. first delivery.. quality comes later..

We jump red lights on roads..to reach fast..

We try to break the queue.. to get the things fast..
We are in hurry..!!! but we don't know WHY?

Friends, if you observe the Nature; you will find that.. 

Sunrise & sunset, day & night..change of seasons.. it all moves in its own pace... you can't make it more faster... It happens its own... it maintains its Rhythm....!!!!

Yes... here is the catch..!! rhythm...

We are getting addicted to speed... we are losing the rhythm of life.

Rhythm & speed don't go together....!!! ( wah.. what a discovery?...!! IPR belongs to me)

Let's blame the kaliyuga.. outside... But inside..??

Lets try to go with Rhythm of the nature.

Lets make the Life Simplified..

Love

Rafeeque 

It is a Fifty-Fifty deal..Buddy..!!!

"Thaan Paathee Daivam Paathee..."

This is a proverb in Malayalam..(My mother tongue..)
I am afraid to translate it to English... it may loose its seriousness.. I can't take a chance..

Yes dear... It is a damnnn serious one.. though the meaning is simple..

"you do the first half; God will do the rest"....

How many time we say or we hear this?

"I leave everything to God..I have been praying quite a long... I am sure He will hear me one day...I am ready to wait..." Could be for a better job..for a compatible partner, for healing an ailment..etc.,

Whenever I hear (or say) I remember this proverb..!!! It makes me uncomfortable ...!

These questions come to mind.. started discussing this proverb with others who, I believe, are more wiser..

• Is it not a fact that we simply pass the buck to God and wait for the result?
• Is it not an excuse for not doing things at our end??

Well..I think so....you are free to differ.

My view: one should attempt his/her fifty percent, before asking the noble Help..

How do we measure the fifty percent...?? well..Let it be decided by God..

Next time.. if no answer to your prayers..!! 

please do an 'internal audit'.. am I done my half?? 
At least, you can claim in silent prayers that I am done my fifty percent..now its your turn..!!!

Let us keep life simple...lets have a smile in our prayers...

With Love
Rafeeque

A "drive home" story....!!!

Are you fond of running away from the life some time??

A place where you don't have to get up early and rush to work.. spending whole day in a concrete jungle without a ventilation for fresh air..!!!

Well...I am of that type. My wife too...

We runaway from Delhi if we have a long weekend (a day more than usual is defined as a long weekend...) we (mostly my wife) do a thorough research before such weekends...

We are no more keen in "site seeing".. we had enough by this time.

Therefore, We look for a place where:

# we get export quality oxygen... (if you are a delhite.. your lungs will crave for it....)
#we don't get lost in the 'tourists'

#the guides don't bother you with their Wikipedia...

Thanks to Ramnavami..!!! We are on road at six in the morning with our backpacks...!!!

Before lunch we reached Morni Hills... it situates in Haryana.278 kms from dhilli..

It is more or less a Virgin Hill station... (base of this usage is that people hardly heard about it..) You can Google for rest of the details. My point here is something else..

We enjoyed gharam daba parathe with achaar on the way. . And the drive of thirty eight kms of the spiral road around shivalik ghats...!!!

Have you ever trief to sit idle...!!!  no phone, no books ... not even thoughts... just feeling the surrounding... the breeze..the chirping of birds... (it is the circumstances made me philosophical..sorry. .) if not,  I recommend to follow Osho... he promoted this idea of sitting idle and doing nothing..(yes. .I agree.. osho did these kind of preachings.. and I like it..)

Morni is perfect for this venture...we sat and enjoyed two days.....without much of talks... explored the silence around...and then packed up..

You know one of the lovely feelings of such trip??..

Yes... you will drive back home..!!!

For planning next running away....

Life is like that... still I say... let it be Simple...

Love
Rafeeque

* Pl share of you have a smile at it..!!!

What are we' by default'...????

Courtesy to Computer Science... it gave us this lovely phrase.."by default"...

It means a set of configurations added to a computer program which is most feasible for the use.....

I often wonder, the only product available in world without a'user manual'is human being (interesting?!!)
Yes, neither does it launched with a set of by default applications ...!!!

It can use or be used the way we want..

From this background, I have been trying to add some by default values to me. (Sorry.. it won't work if you try to add it on another system/person... tried & failed by many experts..)

I identified my'by default' values are as follows:

1. Be positive as fast as possible.
2. Be compassionate.
3. Be reasonable.
4. Be pleasant
5. Be in charge.
6. Be a listener.
7. Be fearless.
8. Be humorist.
9. Be humble.
And the most amazing application comes on free of cost. ."be Simple"

Pl identify & apply yours...Let us simplify our life..
Have a great weekend...

Pl share this if you smile at it..!!!!

Love/rafeeque

Is it necessary to win all arguments..??

Take a moment....

did you ever feel a vacuum after a heated exchange with a loved one??

Yes I did..not once..but many a time..it is not guilty exactly...I know that my side of argument was right most of the time.. Then why the hell I did not get the sense of achievement? ??

There lies the point..!!!

You don't get the kick when you argue with someone who is close to your heart EVEN YOU ARE RIGHT....

It happens because you love/respect the other person more than the issue....your feelings to them are unconditional....it is beyond any logic you applied so far...

So I concluded that let me loose some battle even I could concur...no harm..after all it is for someone.....

This surrender gives you the kick....not the battle..!!!

Exception to this theory is my profession (I m a lawyer by the way) ..where I need to attack with all might for my client... after all there you are at work...!!!

Let is keep life simple...!!!

Love/rafeeque

One day you also quit smoking..!!!!

Yes, I am certain now. .. it is a matter of time. You will get the message at the right time at the right place. It could be physical or emotional. What is important is the acknowledgment of message...!!!
I used to look at the people who quit smoking with wide eyes and great admiration.
"It needs strong will power" they say. True.. used to admit with a helplessness..
Well,  to be frank.. when I quit I never felt I did it with a'great will power'.. when it shown its ugly side, I simply left it..
Thereafter I gathered my thoughts as below:
1. I did not decide to quit; but to have a break for next twenty years..!!! (I look forward)
2. Never think of plus& minus;  never apply your logic..
3. Be very loose. Tell people 'nothing of that sort...I can start any time etc.
4. Never claim so called will power..
5.never advise others as if you are a great person. Tell them mildly the advantages you have now.
After all.. friends.. it is not the biggest achievement in this world... chill. .!!!